Yesterday I woke up dizzy. Just a little. So that getting up from standing or sitting made my head swim a bit, like my equilibrium was off. And I had a headache. After planning what I was going to do this weekend, I ended up staying home. I watched the Mets, then I lay back down in the afternoon to take a nap. Then I remembered that new Doctor Who was coming on, so I made myself get up. I mentioned the dizziness to Dad, who in turn mentioned it to Mom, who got so worried she came up to my room with a blood pressure cuff. She took my blood pressure which was elevated, and then yelled at me about how I'm not taking proper care of myself. Yeah, she's right. But it's not easy. I finally got around to making a dentist appointment for this week. One thing at a time. But I should go see Doctor Ryan. It's been too long. Mom went on about how I could have a heart attack with blood pressure this high and I wondered what would happen if I did die in my sleep or something. I wouldn't have time to fix things. And then they'd clean out my room, and find all the new shoes I've bought lately, clothes with tags still on, and the stash of Cadbury's Mini Eggs I have in my closet. Eventually they'd get into my storage unit, and see the piles of shopping bags, and plastic tubs full of handbags, way more than they actually know I have. And they'd find out, sooner or later, that I have MINIfir stashed down at Annette's house. They might look through my stuff on my computers. Find evidence of...what, I don't know. Just stuff that's none of their business. People always find out stuff they really didn't need to know about their loved ones when they are gone. I usually feel like I've nothing to hide. But we all have something. I haven't even thought about the stuff I keep in my desk at work. And since they don't really know any of my friends, would they ever be able to let people know? And would anyone notice that I wasn't around any more; and would they only vaguely wonder why and then forget about me?
Well, enough of that. I guess I'm just thinking about these things because of poor Lis Sladen (Dear Sarah Jane!).
It's Easter. And I feel fine today. I'm just tired. And a new work week begins, and I'll be more tired. And then the weekend will come and I'll make plans, and probably just drop them and stay home. But I do still have things to look forward to. New episodes of Doctor Who and In Plain Sight. The Glee concert next month. AMVIV. Maybe a trip to New York this summer to visit Hina. So I'll take a deep breath, and do what I have to do, and hopefully everything will be fine.
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