So they have found me. The Mormons. Last Sunday I was on the phone with Mom and the doorbell rang. I looked out the peephole and couldn't tell who it was so I didn't answer it. Then I heard something being wedged into the door jamb. After I hung up with Mom I opened the door to find an invitation with my name on it to a Christmas program they are having at the ward I would belong to. I can't go; it's a Tuesday night at 6:00. But it's not the first time I've thought about going back to church since I moved here.
Fast forward to this weekend: Veterans' Day. And I did something I do occasionally when I remember. I pulled out my dog tags and put them on. Just hearing them jangle around my neck brings me back to those Army days. But this time something struck me. The tags have my name, social, blood type and religion: Roman Catholic. I guess that no longer applies. If it ever did.
I'd been searching for something during my time in the Army. And I tried a few different churches aside from the Catholics. Then I got out, and went back to school and the Mormons found me. Just when I needed them. I wondered if maybe I needed them again now. And I wondered if that was too convenient for me to go back just when I need something. After all, I graduated from BYU. I think I kind of owe them.
When I was in Santa Barbara, and I was in over my head financially, they brought me food. When I moved to a new apartment, and then moved to Provo, and then finally left Provo for Vegas, they were there to help. I know God doesn't care how you come back or when, as long as you do. And he'll tell you that you never owe him anything for all he's done for us. But I don't want to be a hypocrite. If I go back it has to be because I really believe. I know I still believe in God. But as far as being temple worthy, I'm a long way away. It used to be so easy to live the Word of Wisdom. Now I have to do some work, to find my faith, and to see if I can make my life fit that mold again. So many things I haven't thought about for a while. Tithing, the long dresses, but mostly it's the time. I used to spend 3 days a week on church stuff. Even at BYU that became difficult. I didn't want to do my visiting teaching. Never got around to reading the Ensign. I was tired from school and my teaching. And now, I find it hard to make time for things, even with my shorter commute. I wouldn't be able to make it to anything during the week. That leaves Sundays. Giving those up again won't come easy. But maybe the recuperation I need can come from Sacrament meeting. I don't know.
As for Veterans day, I put on my tags, and went to see the CSI exhibit at MGM Grand. Gary Sinise was making an appearance to promote his benefit concert in honor of the wounded warriors. I waited in line for two hours. All the while thinking about the one thing I've always wanted to tell Gary if I ever met him. "Everything will be okay, Gary Sinise is here." Of course when the time came, we were rushed and everything slipped right out of my mind. I gave him the postcard to sign and he asked if I was going to come to the concert. I told him I was a Veteran myself and that my brother is a cop. He said, "Thank you for your service. Happy Veterans Day!" He asked my name and said, "You should come tomorrow, it's a fun show. We'll have some of the wounded warriors in attendance and we'll raise some money for programs that help them." And I think I said I'd come. Which meant I had to. You can't lie to Gary Sinise. Besides, he personally invited me.
I did go to the show. It was yesterday afternoon at Mandalay Beach. The stage was above the wave pool. I stood in the sand of the fake beach. His band, the Lt. Dan Band, played covers, typical stuff. But they were really good. Gary Sinise is an excellent bass player. And his singers and musicians were all top notch. There was a guy on violin that did a fantastic "Devil Went Down to Georgia." I was impressed. And there was a team of Veterans from Ride to Recovery; they'd just done a 100 mile bike ride or something and they were still wearing their team uniforms. Impressive all around. At the end they had a couple of wheelchair-bound Veterans on stage as some large checks were presented for Veterans charities. And I felt good about having served my country. I sacrificed greatly, though nothing that anyone can see evidence of. But every time I go to my doctor at the VA, I'm reminded that it's still with me, no matter how much time has passed.
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