Reader Meet Author

I thought I'd talk about some of the books I've been reading lately.  I saw my therapist today and I remarked how I often talk to her about what I'm reading or what happened on 30 Rock or what the Mets did, and that this was probably not the best way to use the session. I actually said to her one time, "If I start giving you a summary of a 30 Rock episode during the next hour, please stop me." Come to think of it, on more than one occasion, I've sat down in her office and declared that I was not going to talk about X or Y, trying to stay on task.  I guess it's just that I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff here. But I digress.

I just finished reading the memoir by Rachel Dratch called, "Girl Walks into a Bar..." In it she talks briefly about her time on SNL, and some of  the ups and downs of her career, and then at length about her dating life, and how she unexpectedly got pregnant and had a baby at age 43.  It was very well written and enjoyable. As much as she has ended up being (by her own admission) a marginal comic actress (one person who asked what I was reading said "Rachel who?" I had to explain that she was on SNL at the same time as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler), she is really, really funny, a great story teller, and I ended up liking her very much. Some of what she talked about was the pressure on women in their 40s who have never married. Something I can definitely relate to. She always had the worry in the back of her mind that she might never have a child. That's not a worry of mine, I don't really mind not having children, but I get the whole thing about not finding the right guy and feeling like time is running out. Rachel ends up having a child with a man she's only known a few months, and she did not get that full fairytale ending. While the guy is very involved with the child, he and Rachel never really figured out what they were as a couple. And she's only mostly okay with that. She's grateful for her son, as that's more than she ever thought she'd get, but is still a bit sad too, and not afraid to say it. It just struck me as so real. Things don't wrap up neatly in the end all the time. Or even most of the time.

Speaking of Tina Fey, I also recently read her memoir, "Bossypants." I like how the cover has a quote on it saying, "Totally worth it" - Trees  The irony was not lost on me, as I read it on my Kindle. Tina is the epitome of self-deprecation. In this collection of essays she, like Rachel, talks about her life and career in a way that lets you see that she really earned it, but allows for the fact that she was also very lucky. She's eminently likable, and still so funny and smart you want to be jealous, but you can't.

It's just a total coincidence that I read these two books in relatively close succession. It was really interesting to see two sides of the story (Rachel had originally been cast as a regular on 30 Rock, but was replaced after the pilot with Jane Krakowski). Hearing Tina, the creator of 30 Rock, and then Rachel, Tina's long time friend and colleague from Second City and SNL, talk about what happened during that time was inspiring to me. Because the media made it out like Tina had betrayed Rachel and Rachel was angry with Tina over it, but they both showed the same rare combination of honesty and professionalism.  No one blamed anyone. In the end, it was just about how the show was developing, and how there were a lot of other people whose opinions mattered and went into the decision. It wasn't like one said they were more right than the other. They just described how it was in their own experiences, like the classy, intelligent and talented ladies they are. Each of their stories touched only briefly on that episode, mostly because people continue to ask them about it. They both went on to show how much more there is to them than the names and faces people recognize on TV.

Before that I read yet another memoir, "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?" by Mindy Kaling, who writes, acts in, and produces The Office. Mindy's book was more of a mixed bag. Framed somewhat as an advice column, it also gave the background story of how Mindy became a writer/performer. I came out of it with a mostly positive feeling about her. Especially since the character she plays on the Office is so annoying. It's good to know that's not really her. At the same time, she struck me as somewhat, I don't know, like maybe more of a snarky brat. She describes her experiences with humor, but sometimes it seems like she's missing her own point.

Going back further, I read Kristin Hersh's memoir, "Rat Girl." Kristin's book reads like you are in her mind, going with the flow, just watching how it works, and it's weird and wonderful. She writes about being bi-polar, not in a direct way, but in a way that allows her to reveal herself in layers as many things, not just bi-polar, not just an enigmatic yet successful musician, but as a whole person who happens to see the world unlike anyone else.  Kristin, several of whose songs provide titles for my blog entries as well as this blog itself, is perhaps a bit of a patron saint to me. I have met her in person several times after concerts, but in reading her book, it's like I know her more than ever. And I'm glad to have finally made her acquaintance.

Looking at my Kindle library, I realize there are a lot of memoirs. Next up is R.A. Dickey's "Wherever I Wind Up." Add to the list Fred Stoller's "My Seinfeld Year," Elna Baker's "The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance," Crystal Renn's "Hungry," Valerie Plame's "Fair Game," and Ron Darling's "The Complete Game" and one might wonder if I ever read fiction anymore.

I do of course. Some recent standouts include Chad Harbach's "The Art of Fielding," Jennifer Egan's "A Visit from the Goon Squad," and Tom Rachman's "The Imperfectionists." Looking at this list, I can see that the Kindle has encouraged me to read more books, take a chance on some I may not have read otherwise. I think just the ease of thinking 'I want to read that,' and then having it in front of you in two minutes takes away a lot of that dithering I'd do in bookshops, turning the book over in my hands, weighing it, feeling it as an object and wondering if I should take it home, or if it might just sit there unread. Not that there's not value in that too. I think books are wonderful objects, which is perhaps evidenced by the fact that I have bookshelves in every room of my house. I'm just more selective than ever in what books I bring home, because there is only a finite amount of space to store/display them all. At the Borders Going out of Business sale just before Christmas, I picked up a handful of books, the best of which was Brady Udall's "The Lonely Polygamist." And I think that's probably the best overall book I've read in the last year. Sometimes it takes a certain circumstance to bring a book to you. Whatever it is, we must then invite them in and let them live in us. Some stay longer than others.

Much like my reading list, in my own writing, I still tend to lean towards memoir, but I'm also thinking lately that I shouldn't be so afraid of fiction. I used to be able to do it. I'm experimenting here and there. But I think it's time to start experimenting towards something instead of just around it.