I am...I said

"New York City born and raised, but lately I've been lost between two shores. L.A.'s fine, but it ain't home, New York's home, but it ain't mine no more..."
                                                                      -Neil Diamond

Lately I've been thinking about what it would've been like if my family never left Queens, NYC for the suburbs of Long Island. What would I be like as a City kid? Sometimes I think that one day I'd like to go back. To live there and see what it's like. That's probably not going to happen, for several reasons:

1. I'd need a reeeeaaaaaallly, seriously well-paying job. Those are hard to come by even in the best economic times.
2. I'd have to live in a really tiny apartment. Probably in Queens or Brooklyn.
3. I'd have to depend largely on mass transport, and possibly give up my car.
3a. I'd have to get in better shape, and have the stamina to walk everywhere.
4....Well, those are enough aren't they?

I'd like to think that I could do it. That none of those obstacles would be absolute deal breakers. Maybe I would be lucky enough to get the job. And find a livable apartment. Could I manage the rest?

The thing is, my romanticized ideas are not based in reality. I imagine having season tickets to the Mets. Hopping on the 7 train from my job in Manhattan and spending summer evenings taking in the ballgames. I imagine having the money for nice clothes to wear to the office.

The reality is that we are from what was a becoming a bad neighborhood in Queens. I've no idea what the schools were like. Maybe I would never have made it to college. Probably, I'd have to still live at home. And my closet would be so small I wouldn't have room for many of those nice work clothes.

Mass transport in the city is great. Comparatively. But of course it also comes with mass frustrations. Late trains and buses. Rising fares. Overcrowding. And I just love my car too much. MINIs are great city cars. Parking is a snap, if a place can actually be found. But it's expensive. There's that opposite side of the street nonsense. A garage is a luxury, afforded only by the wealthy. I can just imagine hauling my groceries from the car to my 5th floor walkup. A run to Costco would require many trips up and down.

Now, I just back into my garage, right up to the door. Pop the trunk, and bring the bags right inside. One of many advantages of my little house here. My car is safely parked where no one can hit it, or steal it. I don't share any walls with my neighbors. And I have lots of room. More than I need really. Three bedrooms and 2 and a half baths.

Moving to a tiny New York apartment would seem like a step backwards. A necessary sacrifice, not at all easy for a soft, suburbanite like me.

Even so, I still think it would be great. To be at the center of everything; art and culture, and so much more, in what is still the greatest city in the world. Who could resist?