America

It's funny this feeling we call patriotism. I mean, the country we're from is mostly an accident of birth isn't it? I know I've always been conflicted about what it means that I was born American. And then of course Americans are all sub-categorized, like Latin Americans, African Americans, Asian Americans. Because this is a country of people who come from somewhere else. Except for Native Americans, though we didn't know about them until after the explorers from Europe came to claim these lands as their own. Oops.

But I digress. When I was growing up I was always fascinated by what was going on over on the other side of the pond. The culture of the U.K., England, Great Britain all of it. Literature, music, the accents, the fashion and the cool cars. Whatever we had here seemed just a poor imitation. It began with the images I got from reading Thomas Hardy and all that other great English lit I was assigned as I went through school. That stuff which I committed myself to study through two university degrees. (And the music too. British rock or Brit pop, in all its variations.) Maybe I didn't become an expert, but I've always loved the language, and done what I could to keep it close to me. Perhaps so much so that I blocked out the language of my forefathers. I took Spanish in high school of course, and forgot it all. And really feel hardly any connection to it at all as part of my culture. Being Puerto Rican Amerian. A latina. That is mostly a fact of biology. But it takes just the tiniest thing to make one claim one's roots. And in the same breath, to distance oneself from others. Being from a minority ethnicity didn't stop me from being exposed to biggotry, prejudice and the ignorance to leads to them.

The Puerto Ricans and the African Americans and the Mexicans all have problems with each other as well as the whites who have persecuted them so publically. They persecute each other. Or we do. I forget that I'm included in there somewhere. But then I've never felt such "latina pride" as I did that day Judge Sonia Sotomayor was nominated by President Obama to join the Supreme Court. Maybe because she's a Puerto Rican woman from New York like I am. And she got where she is not because of what she looks like (even despite her appearance, accent etc.,) but because of her brain. And I felt New York pride, the city, the state I grew up in, which I do feel connected to very much, even now that I've lived elsewhere for at least half my life. I still love my Mets.

Speaking of baseball, sports are a big thing giving people a feeling of belonging, common will. People support their team whether it's a school team, or a city team, or a national team. I know my Team U.S.A. spirit comes out every two years during the Olympics. People die over it though. Riots in football stadiums around the world are not uncommon. Just a game. But all those emotions attached to these games...can move entire populations. And the littlest thing can breed ill will between spectators. Just like the littlest thing can lead and has led millions to war over the centuries.

I was in the Army. I wore the uniform of my country. I took an oath and trained to participate in war if I was called upon to do so. I did not do it lightly. But I also did not do it because I just love my country so much or because I love being American. Sometimes it's just the lesser of two evils. Things may suck here too, but at least I can speak freely and vote, and go to school, and drive and make a living as a single woman, just a few things which women in many places around the world are denied. I value the many freedoms I have and would of course defend them to the best of my ability. That ability, unsurprisingly, did not turn out to involve soldiering. But we each do what we can.

When we assign blame or give praise, it's often connected to some characteristic that's either different or the same as us. We condemn Islam because some Islamic extremists did some horrible things. But there are many many more peaceful followers of Islam than extremists. It's just the first thing the media could think of that made them different from us. We would never do such a thing. What made them do it? Well, it must be their religion. Or, when someone succeeds, it's not long before people want to claim likeness, either they come from the same town or went to the same school, or have the same last name. Or even if they just like the same music or TV shows. It doesn't take much. He's one of us. She's one of us.


So while I often look admiringly across the pond, I'll never be British. I'm still driving my cute little British car around the U.S. of A. I'm an American. A New Yorker. A Puerto Rican Woman. A Mets fan. A MINI driver. A transplanted Las Vegan. A neighbour. A co-worker. A citizen of the world. A daughter. A sister. A friend. And more. And I have to feel pretty good about all that.