Bedside Story

So much is coming at us all the time, sights and sounds and swirly things. Most of it floats on by. Very little sticks. But every once in a while I'm struck with the power of a great story. And sometimes it comes from the oddest places.

I was surfing around the web doing quizzes on the In Plain Sight page. And I clicked over to the message boards about the show. My interest was piqued by a reference to a site called fanfiction.net, a repository of stories written about, inspired by and including characters and situations from pretty much any movie, book or TV show (or pretty much anything else that you can be a fan of).

I had been talking to my doctor about the stories I used to write when I was a teenager. Usually some silly fantasy about me and a player from the New York Mets. Me all grown up and having become all I wanted to be. Whether it be famous, or successful, or just possessing talents I never could. And finding the perfect love. You know, standard young girl's fantasy stuff. And the intervening years brought none of those things. So they were left behind, but not forgotten.

Occasionally I'd start a new one in my head. A scene here and there. An amusing tidbit to pass the time, a bit of comfort to take to bed. And yes, it's a story of me, being someone better than I am. Having more friends, being desired by the perfect guy. Right now, it's Marshall Mann, the U.S. Marshal, WITSEC Inspector on In Plain Sight. Played by Frederick Weller, Marshall is so smart, so funny, so sensitive, and adorably dorky. And he'd never want me. But in my head, anything can happen. I'm making it up.

So why don't you write these stories down? she asked. But that's fan fic, I told her. It's the silly imaginings of a fangirl. It's dressing up as a Jedi. Putting on shoes that are way too big, or a dress that's way too small. Thing is, fan fic can be better than that. A skilled writer can take established characters and story arcs, and take them somewhere else. And it could be seamless. I read such an IPS fan fic this weekend. I spend much of my Friday and Saturday night, enthralled, sure it was the same Mary and Marshall; and wanting to see what would happen to them, what they would do. It has a place because we fans do want more of Mary and Marshall. We imagine their world, bigger than what's on our screens. We can hear their voices. Some of us better than others. And there are those out there brave enough to share. I'm not up for that yet. My stories aren't so well developed. They are just bits and pieces. But now I've seen what can be done. And felt how it can feel. And I want more of that.

As I'm writing this I'm watching Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland w/ Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. It's all colorful and cool looking as usual with Burton films. But it just doesn't grab me. As classic a story as it is, I just find it kind of "eh." No wonder in Wonderland for me. Odd that.

Then sometimes it comes from just where you expect. Doctor Who is always full of wonder. Last night's episode continued that. It was about dreams, and more dreams, which one is real. Who needs reality? If I could be in the Tardis with the Doctor I certainly wouldn't.

Then again, sometimes reality pokes its little head back in. I just happened to run into Skip and Jazz on MySpace today. I talk to Jazz pretty often. But Skip has been MIA. And he had always been my go-to guy. He'd have a story for me; not fantastical, just big and clever. And completely him. And it was okay for me to be me. I always belonged. I definitely miss having that place to go to.

But it seems there should be a mix. Real and dream. Fantasy and life. Traveling in the Tardis and getting lost in the swirlyness of the here and now. In sleep and in waking.

But right now it's time for bed. What story will I take with me?