You're the One for Me, Fatty

Apparently, Jemma has a boyfriend in SL now. Which leads me to believe one thing: Egyptian guys dig fat chicks. Okay, I kid. But it's a funny story, and not really one that has to do with the picture of poor fat Miracle above. But I may get to her later. So I went roaming around last night in this place that described itself as Main Street New York, and seemed more a comglomerate of many downtowns from cities all over. I saw a few people wandering around. Then in one store (at least I think it was a store), I met this guy who said he was from Egypt, but lived in Saudi Arabia. At least this one spoke English. His name was Mohammed, but he goes by Moha. He asked to be my friend and I told him I was going to walk around some more and he could come if he wanted. He followed me for a bit, and kept asking if I wanted to go somplace called Epica. We teleported there and it appeared to be a beach area for surfing and other water sports. I spotted a canoe. I decided I'd come back to try that later. Moha did not seem to want to do any water sports. He just wanted to sit on the beach with me. There were some animation rez balls that allowed for a couple to cuddle and kiss. I guess he had come here before to do this, I don't know. The thing that cracked me up was that he kept saying that he felt really close to me, like even seconds after we met. I was like, "Yeah, you are taking this too seriously. We just met." But he was in a hurry, and soon after we arrived in Epica, he wanted me to come back to his house. I was just curious to see what someone else's house looked like, so we teleported there. Once we were there, he said something like, "Now you are the queen of this place." You can feel free to do whatever. He had a nice sofa arrangment with cushions on the floor. But before I couild sit down, he said, "You can see upstairs too." So we went upstairs and found some more scattered furniture, including a big round bed. It was one of those beds I had seen so many of when I was shopping for the bed at my place. It came with all sorts of sex animations you could do. At the time I had wondered why all the beds seemed to come with these. Doesn't anyone in SL use their bed just to sleep? Apparently, not so much. I mean, obviously, if you were just going to sleep, you would quit SL and go offline. But I always like to put Jemma to bed before I log off. Then when I come back, I find her on the bed, like she's just waking up. Anyway, Moha invited me to try it out. It was fairly amusing. But I tried the canoe today, and got such a kick out of it! It reminded me of the old days in spinchat with Skip and Jazzie. Space Canoe ride anyone? :)

Mothers Talk

With all the havoc Mother Nature has caused lately; Earthquakes in Haiti, New Zealand, Japan (plus the Tsunami), things are pretty calm in this little corner of the world. Here, winter's last gasp comes in a grey, windy weekend, just before the first day of spring. Baseball is in the air, though the boys of summer have yet to make their way north from sunny Florida. And I think it's time to remove the cover of snow from the farm.

Soon it will be dress and sandals season. And I learend this weekend that apparently I've been wearing the wrong size bra for years. I am not a 42C as I'd thought. And despite putting on quite a bit of weight lately, I don't need to move up to a 44. The lady in Nordstrom measured me and talked me down. It took a while to get my head round it, the fact that I should be wearing a 40DD! A Double D is for girls who are particularly well endowed, I always thought. I'm not that big. But apparently the discomfort of the band riding up and the sides gapeing out didn't signal the need for a bigger band, but a larger cup. A much larger cup. How could I have not known this? I'm nearly 40. My cluelessness has reached a new level.

In other news, I'm talking to Mom and Dad about it maybe being time to get grandma her own place. The stress she is causing has got to the point that I spent nearly all of my session with my therapist this week talking about it. I stopped by a nearby senior apartments complex. They are having a special on 2 bedroom apartments. She doesn't need a 2 bedroom. But they don't have any 1 bedrooms available. But $619 for a 2 bedroom, that's just a no brainer. Of course Mom is still conflicted. She kept coming up with reasons. "She can't afford it." Well, she can. All she has to do is quit gambling, and pay her rent instead, then she'll have plenty left over for food and anything else she'd need. "But wait, what about furniture?" Oh, well there's the old couch and everything I gave to George when he moved out. He's got it all in storage again, since Heather had already fully furnished their apartment. The tension in the house right now just seems enormous to me; that's my personal stake in it. But grandma will be happier too, having her autonomy back, her own place, her own kitchen again. Well, so far the jury's still out, we'll have to see what happens. All I can do is suggest.

In the meantime, my quest to crack Second Life continues. I haven't had much time to work on it. Yesterday I spent about two hours trying to get my clothes to fit. Finally I gave up and just went off to find some people. I tried the popular places list from the Dummies book. They were pretty deserted. I guess Saturday night PST is not the busy time. Or maybe it's because of daylight savings? I dunno. I'll try again at a different hour.

Oh well. Here's an extended sigh for the end of another weekend.

Oh My Heart

Friday

It's ironic that it's such a beautiful day outside, I don't have to put in overtime for the first time in 3 weeks, and all I can think about is getting out of the house so I can go sit in a Starbucks and look at my computer screen. Plus, Grandma was cooking something this morning that made the whole house stink. That's how things go.

I'm actually shopping in Second Life right now. My avatar needs new clothes. I never seem to have time to look for anything when I'm in SL, I usually just go to Sci. Fri. Island and listen to the discussion. But my goal for this weekend is to spiffy up my avatar and maybe go somewhere to hear live music, and meet some people. Shopping is fun here. Especially since I've been saving up my $L for months. And I don't have to try stuff on because no matter the size and shape of my avatar, the clothing will conform to me. Wouldn't that be cool in real life? Also, I just met a guy in the shop who only speaks Arabic. Random.

Saturday
Okay, I have to take back the bit about all the clothes fitting, and conforming to my avatar's size and shape. I tried some of the things on back in my Linden Home and the fit was not great. I figured out some of the items can be edited or resized. Options include length, higher/lower waist, tighter/looser fit and more. Though, once the garment has been adjusted as far as the designer specs allow, that's it. It still might not fit. I got a few items like this. I got this skirt that was adjustable but the bigger I made it to fit, the longer it got until it was too long. My feet barely stick out from the hem. Another problem with the skirt is that it doesn't allow sitting. In other words, it doesn't have flexibility built in. These are all things I never thought about before. I have to try to keep an eye out next time to find things which are editable, and flexible.

Since I haven't been able to figure these things out on my own, I got a book. "Second Life for Dummies." Hopefully it will have some hints to make it easier to get around and accomplish things. Otherwise I end up poring over the SL Wikis and maybe not even finding what I want. I think it's a language issue. There is some SL lingo that I haven't caught onto yet.

Anyway, I ended up going to Macy's to see if there was anything decent to get with the coupon that expires this weekend. I tried on everything in 3x straight off. It's official that most 2x don't really fit me anymore. At least in women's. I got the same sinking feeling of frustration I got when I was trying clothes on my avatar. I guess we really are alike. Even in the virtual world I get plenty of disappointment. I suppose it would be easy to correct. I could just make my avatar really hot and have her wear cool clothes. But that would feel like cheating and it's just not me. My aim has never been to escape. I'm just trying to find a connection. Same as in real life. But I want it to be with people who don't mind what I look like. Or at least, who don't judge me for it.

Speaking of connections, I've been thinking that it's nearly 10 years now since I first "met" everyone on the Semisonic message boards. Ten years is longer than I've known pretty much anyone I didn't go to high school with. It seems that most people just kind of wander into my life for a year or two, and then wander right back out. And some of the semi folks have been like that too. There are only a few I still hear from. Jules, Mandy, but most constant is Jazzie. She's really become a good friend. And occasionally Skip. But not really. I just sort of want him to still be there. Even if I don't hear from him, I don't want it confirmed that he's wandered off. I don't think my heart could take it.

In the meantime, Benrik have created an iPhone app called the Situationist. It basically lets you know if there is a fellow Benrikian nearby and if they are using the app it sends them a message that they should find you and perform one of the random acts you have sanctioned in the app. Things like "Hug me for 5 seconds exactly," or "Wave at me like a long lost friend." It seems there isn't much chance of me ever encountering one of these situations. One because there aren't any other Benrikians here in Vegas as far as I know. And Two, even if there were, they'd have to be nearby, and using the app. Highly unlikely. But it's made me wonder how things are going over in Benrikland. I haven't stopped in there in at least a year, maybe two. There are probably a load of new people. And who knows if any of those people I knew are active any longer. I have some of them as Facebook friends, so I occasionally see what they are up to. But that's about it.

Well, it's Saturday night now, and I'm not at all sure another search for signs of other SL residents would bear fruit. I may just skip it and go to bed. The clocks spring forward tonight already, so I've already lost an hour. And I've read none of the things I meant to read. I've got a nice little pile of comics from visits to Ralph's store. But maybe I can get through one if I start...right...now!

A Bad Dream

In the last couple of weeks I've been having some bad dreams. On the bus one morning I dreamt I was driving with a blindfold on and couldn't remove it in time to stop myself from driving off into the railing. I woke up with a start; actually uttered a little scream as I realized where I was: on the bus with my sleep mask on.

Another night I woke up in my bed screaming and actually kicking out at what I felt to be a presence in my room. I remember seeing a large man in a plaid shirt, like the guy on the Brawny paper towels package. I had the feeling I had left a door unlocked and that the intruder somehow immediately knew to come kill me first. I yelled and kicked out, and after waking up I stared into the dark for several minutes not sure if I could still see a face or not. It was more scared than I can remember being for some time.

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Location:Mercury Hwy,Yucca Flat,United States