Missionary Man

This almost slipped my mind, but a few weeks ago I was walking back from the mailbox and two young men on bikes came to a stop near me and said hello. They were dressed alike; along with their bike helmets, they were wearing black pants, white shirts and name tags. The missionaries!

Hello, I responded. And then I looked up at them, "The missionaries, Oh I love the missionaries!" They were surprised by this response. One of them said, "Do you talk to a lot of missionaries?" I laughed. "No, but I'm LDS so..." They asked me which ward I belonged to. I told them that I'd just moved here, but I thought I'd be in the Meadows 11th Ward. "I haven't been there yet," I said, "because I'm still trying to get myself together here. But I'll probably end up there eventually." They introduced themselves as Elder so and so and his companion. I told them my first name only. I didn't want them looking me up. I wasn't ready to commit. They told me that the ward would be meeting earlier after the first of the year, 9am for sacrament. They were currently meeting at 11. Darn, I thought. It'd be a lot easier to make an 11am sacrament meeting. To ease myself into getting up on Sundays. Oh well. I let them go on their way telling them to have fun and stay warm.

So, I'm LDS. I think. Then at the party last weekend I was talking to Dax. He had poured a little something in his red solo cup. I asked him what he had there. He told me some fancy something or other he wanted to try. I had a bottle of water and when he asked if I wanted something else, "Oh, I don't drink," I said. Oh really? Like ever? or just not often? Ever, I said. I used to be Mormon. (So now I used to be Mormon.) You used to be, so you're not anymore. Right, I said. But you still have some of the habits. Yeah. (But I don't know why I said that to him. I never drank, even before I was Mormon. I hadn't just stopped when I converted.) Then he goes, so tell me something you do that's bad. Everyone has something. Hmm, something came to mind right away. But I said, I probably shouldn't say. This intrigued him, but he didn't push. We just chatted about how there are many things that can be harmful, drinking, but other stuff too. I think we both thought of Keir in the other room. It was definitely harming him.

So I'm thinking: Is it a sign, meeting the missionaries? But of what? I told them I'm LDS. I told Dax I wasn't anymore. If anything it's a sign of my indecision. I have much to think about, but I'm taking my time.