Don't Make Me Over

I had a pretty good day yesterday for my birthday. I got some free stuff (carwash, gift at Sephora, drink at Starbucks) and my lovely family were generous as always. Dad took us to dinner at a nice place, and earlier, I got to hang out with my brother George at his place. He gave me the DVD of Glee and we watched a couple of episodes. Then after dinner, me, Mom and Dad watched some. The whole family is into it and that doesn't happen very often. It made me happy.

Anyway, as this year ends, my 38th, it's hard not to examine your life and see if there is anything you might work on for the next year. This blog has been my project this year, and I can't say it's been a resounding success. I haven't kept up adding entries as much as I wanted to. I feel like my writing is still not back to where it once was. But I'll try to carry on. And not write so much about handbags. I'm way too obsessed with them.

As for changes, I can't keep making the same resolutions year after year without learning that they most likely aren't acheiveable. I am at the point in my life where, this is who I am, and that's probably not going to change much. The year started at the Bunin's New Year's party. I was hoping it might be the beginning of a greater effort and success in my social life. Not so much. I haven't made much headway with Janice and the gang at Paddy's. I've not seen Keir since the beginning of the year, and it still makes me sad, but actually I'd hoped that his absence would help. And those guys would see that my hanging around, it's not all about him. I've wanted to hang out with Janice one on one, but there just hasn't been a good time to ask her. And a year on from losing Barb, she's still got bigger things to be thinking about than befriending a shy quiet girl who used to work with her ex-boyfriend. Cool shoes notwithstanding.

Should I go to the Bunin's party tomorrow night? Technically I wasn't invited, but they are pretty open with their invitation to friends of friends. And Ralph and Kate should be there. I'm thinking of wearing my new dress, and cool shoes, and bringing along my iPod with photos of my trip to New York to share. Will it matter? Will I blend in or stick out? I don't know. But I do know I'm better off not trying to be someone I'm not.