Drive My Car

AMVIV 7 has come and gone, and as usually there were some memorable moments. There were a lot of differences this year. A new location, Aliante Station. And I didn't go on any of the runs. I've been on most of them already. And I worked at the event so much it kept me at the Sin City club's tables. And then there was the Dent Guy working on my car. Although everytime I said it people kept thinking I said dead guy. But, no. The Dent King in fact was working on MINIfir's boot over two days. So she had to stay put anyway.

I went to In-n-Out Motor-In with Larry Thursday night, and Friday night after the mixer I was really too tired to go anywhere. Saturday though MINIfir and I manned a poker ru
n stop, Desert MINI. When I was done I met up with Jeff and Annette at their poker run stop, the 7-11. They'd let Mark's brother Chris drive little Monty and he let them take a ride in his GP. This swapping of cars turned out to be fortuitous. We went back to Aliante to turn in our tally sheets and then Annette asked me if I wanted to come see a classic Mini Chris was thinking of buying. Plus, she said, he's got a water buffalo. This is how it happened: Chris had had such a great time in Monty. And a guy at 7-11 spotted them and said his son had a little red mini just like theirs in his garage. Would he be interested in selling it? Probably. He doesn't live far from here. So we all hopped in cars. Jeff and Chris T.'s Dad in the GP, Chris F. and his wife in Monty and Annette drove me and Chris T. in her VW (a non-mini, but mine was still being worked on). We all followed the leader to this house just a few miles from Aliante. It was in an older North Las Vegas neighborhood. There were just a couple of houses on the street. We pulled up at one and the owner greeted us along with his friendly Corgi, Lucy. He let us through the fence to come look at the car.

Sitting in his garage was a dust covered mini that turned out to be an amazing find. It was a 1964 Austin Mini Cooper S. The guys looked her over and began to assess the work she would need. But Chris was ready to buy. He took out his wad of cash and said, Let's make this deal. While they took care of it, we were invited to have a tour of the yard.

This is not a usual AMVIV weekend occurance, but there he was. Fred, the water buffalo.

He was relaxing in his pen, next to a few horses, a sheep, some goats, a pig, chickens and lots of dogs. Certainly something you don't see everyday. By the time we'd seen the entire zoo, the little mini had been rolled out onto the driveway. It was not running. It would need to be towed. And Chris had already called for a tow truck. It arrived and the driver began loading up the little mini. We all stood and watched and the owner who was selling it understandably seemed sad to see her go. Jeff said that he wished he and Annette had found such a fine mini so close to home. They'd gone up to Washington state to get Monty. Chris had scored a great classic for only $6000 cash. He had it taken to Aliante, washed and detailed. A true beauty.

All that was left to do was wait for the dent guy to finish with MINIfir's boot (it came out pretty nice) and then go off to the White Roof Radio party. The show was fun, then we went to the Mexican place in the hotel for dinner. It was the latest night out I had. And we were still in bed by midnight.

The next morning, I worked the breakfast and then we wrapped it all up. Another AMVIV had come to an end. It was hectic and exhausting but still well worth it. The attendees seemed to like the new hotel and to enjoy the activities. And we didn't stay out til all hours, but we still had a good time hosting it. And now we've got to start thinking about next year.

Medication

This weekend I started on a couple of new medications. Fish oil capsules and Temazepam to help me sleep. Sleep has always been a big issue. But lately it's been getting worse. Mostly because of my new job schedule. Getting up at 4a.m., commuting 80 miles each way, and working 10 hour shifts. My usual meds, Fluoxetine (Prozac) and Lamotrigine, don't seem as effective anymore. I'm feeling irritable and wanting to avoid people. My therapist and my psychiatrist say it's to be expected after such a long time. Fluoxetine especially tends to taper off in effectiveness over time. They call it the Prozac Poop-out. It's always hard for me to discern how well these things work. Am I less depressed, more depressed? Is it due to circumstances, or just chronic re-occurance? And if I can't be sure, it must be doubly hard for my doctors to know exactly what I need. But I have to trust them. And I do. So far the sleeping pills seem to help. I haven't started increasing my Prozac dosage yet. So it'll be some time before I can see if there is a difference with it. For now, I can only follow the instructions for my prescriptions. And see if that balance will be any closer to returning.

Automatic for the People

So here's my automatic Olympic update! Moments ago the Olympic Hockey Gold went to Canada. Sydney Crosby scored the winning goal in overtime. A great Olympics comes to an end. Canada was a great host in Vancouver and they got the gold medals that were most important to them. But Team U.S.A had some great triumphs too. They won the most medals overall, setting a new record. Apolo got his 8th medal. The 4-man bobsledders rocked the sliding center to win gold. Both Lindsey Vonn and Bode Miller finally got their golds. The snowboarders owned many of their events again. Shani Davis repeated his gold in long track. And Chad Hedrick led the men's pursuit team to silver. Evan Lysacek took gold in men's figure skating just edging out the formidable Yevgeny Pleshenko. Our women skaters fell short, but it was South Korea's Kim Yu-Na's year. The amazing Joannie Rochette from Canada took the bronze just days after losing her mom suddenly. So many great moments in these games. It started off in tragedy with Nodar Kumaritashvili, the Georgian luger, dying after a major accident in practice just hours before the Opening Ceremony.

But now the Closing Ceremony is at hand. And time for life to go back to normal for most of the Olympians who will not have a stage this big for another four years.

For me, it's time to reboot and get back up to speed with work. But for now I, like Jemma seen above, will sit down and relax for a while.

Add it Up

Okay, so I went on a semi-unintended shopping spree yesterday. I'll explain. I have been planning what to do with my tax refund, plus the money I'd saved up. I had a few different options worked out. One option was a new laptop and maybe the Burberry hobo I've been contemplating. I'd keep aside some money to get the work done on my car that I might need.

Second option, either laptop or Burberry, save for work on car and for a possible trip to London this summer. Either would be great! And I've worked hard. I feel I deserve some reward. Right?

So yesterday I go to the new City Center to check out the shopping. I definitely wanted to do some major browsing, in LV, Hermes and Bottega Veneta. And then I'd maybe get myself a little treat from Paul Smith. Some socks or a small accessory. But I definitely would not be buying a bag.

So I park at Bellagio and take the little tram over to Crystals, which is what they call the City Center shopping plaza. It's pretty impressive architecturally. All glass, metal(aluminum or steel, not sure) and smooth white stone walls. High ceilings and winding stair cases inset with wood panelling to match the bistro on the middle level. It kind of reminded me of an airport at first. But it started to grow on me. The exits to the outdoors led to open air passageways, most with a large scale art piece at its center. The exits going out to the strip give pedestrians options to continue on the grounds of City Center, continue to the Monte Carlo, or across the street to the Miracle Mile at Planet Hollywood. So much shopping in so little space.

Speaking of which. I find it amazing that such a smallish city like Las Vegas can host not just a handful, but most of the world's most prestigious fashion and accessory houses. All on the Strip, within about 2 or 3 miles of each other. We're used to Louis Vuitton being everywhere. Just in Fashion Show Mall alone, you can buy LV at Neiman's, Saks and in the LV store. Then across the street at the Wynn, another LV store. And across from that in the Palazzo, another LV store. I'm not even sure how many LV stores are on the Strip. I know there's one in the Bellagio, and now at Crystals. There are probably others. Oh yeah, I think there's one at Caesar's Forum Shops. There are at least two each of Burberry, Dior, Fendi, Bally, Bottega Veneta, Prada, Miu Miu. At Crystals there are a few that have yet to open, including Prada, Mui Mui, Dior, Pucci and some others. It's an orgy of designer goods. And of course it's concentrated in the few square miles where most of the money is spent in the entire state of Nevada. Perhaps in the entire southwest. I didn't even mention the jewelers. Bulgary, Van Cleef and Arpels, H. Stern, Tiffany & Co., Harry Winston, etc. I don't even think about those because my thing is handbags. It's just a fact that the designers don't design for a woman my size. I can only look at the clothes.

Anyway, I popped into Paul Smith, and was rejuvenated by the color. You can always count on Paul Smith for great stripes, patterns and color. I moved to the women's section in the back and met a lovely English salesman. We had a nice chat about minis and British fashion and I looked at the pretty scarves and socks. I picked up a couple of pairs for myself, then I headed out to look at the men's socks. I even got a compliment on my Anna Scholz trench from one of the other sales guys. I told my salesman how I'd purchased some before for my brother and he loves them. After a bit more chat, he rang up and wrapped my new socks. And I sauntered out, very pleased with my little treat.

I ducked into a few other shops to have a peek around. And then into Bottega Veneta, to check out the new colors for spring. I'd looked at their web site the night before to see if there was any little accessory I might be able to treat myself to. I found a little case I liked for $650. I thought, yeah it's beautiful stuff, but for that I can get a whole bag someplace else. I thought I'd have a look at it in person though. And then I met Steven. I made the mistake of telling Steven that I was a bag person. He knew he had me on the hook. I could've been polite, looked at a few bags, said thank you and left. But for some reason, I couldn't. Steven kept showing me things I liked. And so reasonably priced too. Yeah, for Bottega. It never occurred to me that I might one day buy a bag for almost $2000. When I got my Chloe Paddington at Neiman's last call, that was the most expensive bag I had even considered. It retailed at around $1800. But I got it for less than half that. A bargain certainly. I'd still never paid over $1000 for a bag. Marc Jacobs, on sale, Burberry, on sale, Pucci, on sale of course.

I had settled in to a nice comfortable place. I concentrated on more moderately priced and new up and coming designers; Hayden Harnett, Cole Haan, Rebecca Minkoff, Treesje. I've been eyeing a couple of Botkiers lately too. And then Alexander McQueen killed himself. And I looked again at his stuff. Maybe if there was any time to splurge, this might be it. Or maybe I could stretch myself a bit further and go for the Proenza Schouler PS1. Or just that Burberry. It's a steal at $1095. But once you cross the $1000 mark, it's hard not to see it as possible. And my tax refund wasn't that great. Start thinking of too many things, it adds up. At most, I can only really contemplate one of those. But which one?

So there I am in Bottega with my new friend Steven. We've narrowed it down to two bags I like best. A light colored tote (they call it Paille) with some interesting texture, aside from the usual classic intrecciato woven leather. I was told they created it by wrapping sticks into the leather, and then removing them to get his stipple effect on top of the intrecciato. I loved the tote. But then I spotted the hobo. It was different. Intrecciato only as seams and trim in a tie-dyed cigar brown. The body a creamy Ivory but speckled deer leather. I saw it described as perforated. But I don't think it is. It just has that speckled texture. I was looking for something light for spring. I mean I was thinking yellow or pink. And when you go into Bottega, you've gotta go for something bold. Steven has shown me a few bags in a purple (orchid?) and a grey (ash). All very nice. But something drew me to this Ivory bag. I tried it on in the mirror. The assistants all ooh-ed and ahh-ed. Still, I was hesitant. I had only meant to buy small things.

I make the determination. I can't buy this now, I'd need to transfer money first. Steven offered to hold it for me until I can come back. And, when he went for his lunch, he'd bring me a cupcake from The Cupcakery. It was a deal. I headed home to make the transfer online; yes I was decided. I could've just let it go. Steven would put the bag back on the shelf and someone else would buy it. Maybe Melinda the other salesgirl who had her eye on it.

But soon I was on my way back. Parking at Bellagio and getting the tram to Crystals. I strode back into Bottega, and Steven spotted me and smiled. And he had the cupcake waiting for me. He tried to get me to buy the whole set, wallet, cosmetics case, and lanyard along with the bag. But no, I had decided on the bag, I had to draw the line there. He wrapped it up and I came out into the hall with my new purchase, and my cupcake. It was red velvet, my favorite. I found a place to sit down and enjoy it. I opened my shopping bag and realized all the tags had been removed. I popped back into the store and asked Steven if he could write down the info on the bag, style/color etc. He did and also gave me a hefty catalog.

Overall a great experience, and I got the bag too. Was it worth the money? How do you really put a value on things like this? Yes, the bag was expensive. Now I have to shift around my plans for what's left of my tax refund money. Looks like London is out, but then again it's a MINI Takes the States year, perhaps it's best to hold off London for next year. The car repairs, the computer, the Burberry bag? It adds up quick. But there's still time, to think and calculate, and to net another paycheck.

Flowers and Football Tops

This past weekend was Valentine's Day. My dad gave my mom flowers. Aside from that, it wasn't much acknowledged around here. The bigger event of the weekend was the USA Rugby 7s which I attended at Sam Boyd Stadium. It was a two day tournament with teams from 16 countries taking part. It was fast and exciting and a great time was had by all. I went with Andrew and Patrice from the Mini club. Andrew is an Aussie, so he was all about the Wallabees. I cheered for the USA, who were not expected to do much, but also for teams from the U.K.; England, Scotland and Wales.

We didn't attend the 2nd day of the tournament; just not enough time or cash. And the USA acquited itself well. The team took the bowl match which I think means they came in 3rd altogether. Or 5th. Not quite sure. But well done the Eagles!

I'm a girl who enjoys her sports. And yet, if there was someone who wanted to give me flowers, I'd take those too. Who says we can't have both? Maybe next year.

In Another Life

Recently I signed up to enter Second Life; A virtual world that has been around for a few years, and has sort of already had its 15 minutes of fame. You don't hear too much about it lately. Except on Science Friday, which has its own island "in world."

I haven't done much yet aside from create my avatar. I named her Jemma, as in a combo of Jennifer and Emma. That quiz on Facebook that was going around said that if I was born today, my (not creative) parents would have probably called me Emma. I like it because it reminds one of Jane Austen and therefore sounds British.

People in virtual worlds like Second Life join for all different reasons. It's fairly common for citizens in these places to want to make their life as different as possible from their real life. They may give their avatar a crazy fantastical appearance, or just make it look like a dream version of themselves. The way they wished they could look. There must be some who want the avatar to be as realistic as possible. To represent them in this world. Not to be anything he or she is not. I don't think you hear about those kinds of people much. But I am one of them. Aside from the British sounding name, everything else about Jemma so far is fairly close to my reality. I could have just kept the default female avatar body, but I wanted to see what I actually look like walking around in the world. So I made her short and curvy, with a large ass and muscular legs. Big feet, olive skin, dark eyes and hair. I even made her jaw a bit long and gave her dark circles under her eyes. I haven't got it all 100% right yet. The appearance editor in Second Life is even more sophisticated and specific than I know what to do with. I'm not sure the exact length of my torso, the angle of my nose, or the slope of my cheeks. Or the degree of bowleggedness or pigeon toe my walk is. How can I be sure what my exact proportions would look like if plugged into a computer? I can only approximate. At first I made my butt a bit too big. Like you could see each raised cheek under my dress. I think mine is more wide than it is plump. It's hard to say. I really never look at myself that closely.

With an approximate likeness of me, I next tried getting Jemma to move around and explore the world. It took an age for me to figure out how to get her to sit on a bench. She's still on Help Island right now. I've managed to get her to tour the model house on display, and sit on one of the sofas. (See the snapshot above.) I've changed her clothes into something more casual than the cute pink dress she started with. Some jeans and a sporty sort of T-shirt. I think it was technically a boy's outfit. But it was all I could find. And when I put it on her, it comformed to her shape and size. So it looks okay.

I still haven't figured out the whole "shopping for goods and using money and whatnot" in world. Supposedly there are a lot of free items around for those with no money. I haven't yet been able to navigate to any stores or other locations. Apparently I can fly, or teleport but I have no idea where I am or where I should be going. That means baby steps for now.

Anyway, I think my exploration of this world will be helpful in some ways. I can maybe try to figure stuff out. See if I can interact with people. Find out how they see me. Find out how I want to be seen. I don't expect to make any great strides in my therapy through it, but it may turn out to be a supplemental exercise.

I had a session with my therapist yesterday and she seemed a bit frustrated by the fact that I am still doing a lot of negative thinking. I should know better by now surely. I was practicing restructuring my thoughts. But those assumptions (mind reading) and exaggerations (magnifications) just keep jumping out, before I have the chance to stop them.

Maybe playing some of it out in Second Life will help. I can be a fly on the wall, get a different perspective from outside of myself/Jemma. And maybe I can find a bit of truth.

New Year's Eve

So the year ended as it began, in a crowd of people in the middle of Dan Bunin's family room. All day I prepared. I got a new coat and scarf in case I ended up standing out in the backyard in the cold. I got a new clutch so I could have my technology at my side. I got dressed in my carefully chosen outfit, and arrived, fashionably late. And promptly fell down the steps into the living room.

I spotted Kate first. Then Ralph. I gladly greeted them. And we chatted. Ralph introduced his friend Rob who sometimes helps out at his store. We took some pictures. And then I noticed him. Keir was now in the living room, showing someone his portfolio. Now on his new iPhone! He'd grown his hair long again. And he looked good. Healthy. It was a relief seeing he was okay. But I'd have to try not to pay him too much attention. Indeed I wasn't there for him.

I greeted Janice, and Joe and Dan and Mike and a few of the others. I stayed close to Ralph as usual. But eventually I greeted Keir. "Hey, how are you?" "Good, you?" "Good." "I thought I might see you here," he said. Momentarily I wondered. Was he glad?

So just like last year, I milled around, and felt awkward, and talked to a few new people and some familiar ones. I did bits of catching up. I work at the Test Site now, blah, blah, blah. Some good music played and some not so good. I danced a bit. Especially when a block of songs off the Glee album were played. We sang along, and danced and there was much drinking. And Janice had Barb with her. A bit of her ashes enclosed in a silver charm hanging from her neck.

Late into the night, Keir requested a special song. And he and Janice danced. They were both drunk, I think, and maybe for those few minutes they were back in that place; Keir held her tightly, as they swayed and teetered around the floor. I winced and stood against the wall. But I knew it was right, the two of them. And even though it went wrong, it never went away.

I stayed very nearly to the end. Because I didn't know what else to do. Or because I couldn't leave until I was sure it would hold me over until next time. In case another year goes by. I got Keir's new phone number. And hugged each of those who were left. In the living room, Janice was crying. Another time I'd stumbled into her at a bad moment. It was time to go. And I gingerly made my way back down the street to my car.

And it didn't matter what I wore. Not to anyone but me. Which, I guess, is the point anyway.